


tiny human

by watergator



Series: tiny human [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Childbirth, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 06:20:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17523509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: dan and phil's surrogate goes into labour whilst dan isn't there





	tiny human

Rain seems to pour in bucket loads outside, hammering so hard against the window that Phil thinks it’s surely enough to break the glass.  
  
He’s currently sat in his living room alone, save for the very pregnant surrogate, Ellen, that’s seemingly begun to drift off into a somewhat peaceful sleep in the last hour on the other end of the couch. Phil watches carefully over her, eyes gazing across and over the soft swell of her stomach where a baby – their baby, lies inside. It still makes him feel giddy in all honesty, after all this time, these long almost nine months, trying to still grasp at the idea that a baby that’s sure to be born soon, is just there.  
  
Suddenly, Ellen seems to stir in her sleep and although Phil knows she could use all the sleep she can get, he’s grateful that she’s now awake for company, since Dan is out still, most likely caught in the rain and heading home from a small meeting he’d reluctantly gone to, something about merch that hadn’t deemed important enough for the pair of them to attend to. But a quick twenty minute meeting had stretched into an hour with the horrendous weather messing up their plans they had when they’d invited Ellen over for the evening.  
  
She blinks herself awake and Phil awkwardly grabs his phone and pretends to be distracted for half a second before he puts it back down when she speaks,  
  
“Dan not back yet?” she asks, and her voice is laced in a sleepy huskiness and deep tiredness and Phil simply shakes his head, offering her a comforting smile.  
  
“Not yet. I texted him though,” he tells her, “he could be stuck in traffic. London likes to lose their heads just a bit when the weather gets crazy,” he laughs lightly, and Ellen just smiles back and closes her eyes again.  
  
Phil can tell she seems a little uncomfortable; he doesn’t suppose it’s easy carrying another human inside of you constantly, and he watches with a concerned frown as she tries to shift where she’s sat to get herself comfortable on the couch amongst the pile of cushions Phil had offered her awkwardly earlier.   
  
“Baby kept me awake all night last night,” she mutters out of nowhere, eyes still closed and head tipped back slightly against the back of the couch. “Don’t think she likes letting me sleep these days,” she tries to laugh but it comes out sounding a little more pained that probably intended, and Phil frowns at here where she can’t see.  
  
Long gone at the moments that take Phil by surprise when Ellen would refer to the baby as ‘she’ or ‘her’; he and Dan had found themselves doing it more and more as time went on, despite the fact that there was no confirmation as to if they were going to be bringing home a son or a daughter when the day came, and Phil wouldn’t lie and say that the curiosity plagued him sometimes, just to know. It didn’t matter really, but he was curious.  
  
Phil watches her shift around on her bum a bit, trying to get comfortable and Phil’s about to offer her another pillow to her collection surrounding her when suddenly his phone blares in his hand and he jumps, Ellen merely cracks open an eyes and shuts it again, clearly disinterested as Phil unlocks the phone and answering the ringing without so much thought as to who it could be, and once he presses the screen to the side of his face he hears a familiar loud voice on the other end.  
  
“Phil, this fucking rain is actually shit.” Dan speaks loudly, and Phil can hear his voice clearly over the sound of rain and traffic that surround him. “The roads are shut down wo we’re just sat here at the moment, people are shitting themselves and it’s only making things worse, I dunno when I’ll be back,” he huffs, sounding angry and Phil hums and glances back at Ellen, legs stretched out and arms resting on her bump, seemingly back to sleep again.  
  
“Alright, you have any idea how long you’ll be?” Phil asks quietly, unsure how deeply asleep Ellen is, but not wanting to risk it by waking her now.  
  
He hears a shuffle over the phone, and he’s confused for a moment until he hears Dan’s voice again after the sound of sliding glass is heard, and it becomes apparent he’s probably talking to the driver,  
  
“Hi, yeah hello – sorry, no, um how long? Do you think? Until the traffic will get moving?”  
  
There’s more silence. Then, sliding glass and a loud angry huff from Dan once more.  
  
‘Big help he was,” he mutters angrily, “he shrugged his shoulders and turned back around. Cleary he’s not the only one pissed off,” he adds and Phil laughs quietly at that.  
  
“Okay, well maybe I should just get dinner without you, it’s getting late and I don’t want Ellen wilting away on our couch,” he suggests looking back at her sleeping form, thinking back to half hour ago when she’d complained about feeling peckish and Phil had been embarrassed to have nothing to offer her.  
  
Dan sighs over the phone, “Fine, go ahead and order dinner in,” he tells him, “just make sure to save me whatever you’re having,” he says and Phil hums.  
  
“I’ll try. Just get home safe, okay? I’ll see you later.”  
  
“See you later. Love you.”  
  
“Love you too.”  
  
And with that the line disconnects and Dan’s gone. Just as Phil drops his phone into his lap, Ellen seems to be awake again, looking blearily over at Phil almost expectantly.  
  
Phil just smiles at her. “Pizza?”  
  
*  
  
“Is this what baby wanted?” Phil asks with a laugh as he takes a bite of his slice of pizza, watching Ellen take an even bigger bite, cheese dripping down from her lips where she licks it back up quickly.  
  
She lets out a groan and a nod, “Baby definitely wanted this,” she speaks with a mouthful of crusts.  
  
Phil laughs again as he delicately dips the end of his slice into the little pot of garlic dip, conscious to leave some for Dan as promised; he knows how much he loves his dips, and the least he can do for him after getting stuck in the rain is save him some pizza and dips. But as he watches the way Ellen seemingly gorges herself, slice after slice, bypassing Phil on the amount of food she consumes, Phil reckons they’ll have to get another delivery in for when Dan gets home to make it fair.  
  
“That’s a good thing at least,” Phil speaks, swallowing down his food, “she’ll be used to our gross eating habits that way,” he jokes and Ellen snorts a laugh as she picks up another slice and dumps it on her greasy plate.  
  
“She know’s what she’s in store for this way,” she winks playfully, patting her belly with her free hand, and using to other to shovel in the slice whole into her mouth.  
  
Phil can only watch in wonderment.  
  
“Oh!” she pipes up once she’s managed to swallow it down with a gulp, “that reminds me, I was gonna ask you, talking of feeding and stuff, do you think you’ll bottle feed with formula?” she asks and Phil blinks at her, feeling confused for a moment until he speaks,  
  
“Uh, well, I guess… We only really have the one option,” he trails off and Ellen laughs again, loud, before taking another bite of pizza, chomping it down quick to speak again,  
  
“Oh, no! I was gonna suggest breast milk,” she tells him as she pulls a mushroom off her pizza and pops it into her mouth.  
  
Phil furrows his brow, “Breast milk?” he feels a little lost.  
  
Ellen nods. “Well, yeah. I was thinking since I’m not using this stuff I could bottle it up for you what I can and send it over. See how you like it, or just stick to your own plans, sorry,” she begins to ramble, a trait Phil had picked up on her personality in the long months of knowing her, and he watches her duck her head down and focus on pulling apart her slice of pizza on her plate.  
  
Phil feels bad for her; sometimes she’ll suggest something to help with the baby and then she’ll backtrack, get quiet and mention how it’s none of her business. Phil guesses she feels like she’s intruding, stepping some sort of line, but in reality, both he and Dan could use all the help they can get as first time parents.  
  
She goes quiet, and that feeling of sadness for her festers deep inside Phil until he reaches across the table and awkwardly pats her hand with his own, placing his palm over the back of her hand and leaving it there. It feels warm, and weirdly it almost reminds him of Dan.  
  
“Ellen, that’s a fantastic idea. We didn’t even think of that, we read that natural milk was good for babies, it apparently lowers the risk of allergies which – which is a pretty good thing actually, because I think I’d be a little devastated if we had a child allergic to dogs,” he laughs at the end, and he catches Ellen looking up with a small smile, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards.   
  
“We’re not perfect, Ellen,” Phil adds quietly. “I’ve got my mum in one ear, and Dan’s mum in the other of all different tips and techniques that I guess are a little outdated now.”  
  
Ellen smiles at him, ripping apart an onion on her plate when Phil laughs, remembering something silly.  
  
“My grandma actually told me one way to get a baby to sleep is to put a little drop of whiskey on their dummy!” he exclaims loudly and this time Ellen laughs out loud, ducking her head down before looking back up at Phil again.  
  
He smiles at her, hand still over hers where he gives it a quick squeeze.  
  
“My point is, you’re a mother. You’re a mum that clearly knows what she’s doing,” he tells her, “and if you think there’s something you should say, then say it, please, because frankly, we probably need to hear it.”  
  
Silence falls over them, before Ellen sniffs quietly and Phil almost misses the glimmer of wetness in her eyes as she looks ahead at Phil from across the table and she nods.  
  
“Yeah. You’re right.”  
  
Phil nods sharply. “We’re all in this together, no matter what, okay?”  
  
She nods again and laughs as she drops the little piece of onion in her fingers back onto her plate and she carefully pushes her chair outwards.  
  
“God. Stupid hormones, I’m a mess,” she laughs wetly as she wipes under her eyes where tears are yet to fear with the back of her hand. “Gonna grab myself some tissues,” she tells Phil, and as Phil goes to stand, she shakes her head and gestures for him to sit back down, which he does.  
  
“I’ll be fine,” she says gently.   
  
She stands and Phil watches her slowly lift herself off the chair and just then his phone flashes with a text from Dan, and he opens it with a greasy finger to see a single image of his view from the taxi; a rain clouded window with rows and rows of cars, buses and taxis alike lined up in chaotic traffic as the sun begins to set. He chuckles to himself at the idea of poor Dan sat alone and bored in a small taxi, and he goes to type something funny back, just to wind him up or make him laugh when he hears a small sudden gasp from across the table and he’s snapping his head up at lightning speed.  
  
Words get stuck in his throat as he looks over at where Ellen stands in the kitchen, only having gotten a few steps away from the table; she stands perfectly still with her legs braced apart and her hands on her stomach.  
  
Phil feels his heart pound rather suddenly against his chest and the words finally free themselves from his tongue when he notices the wet puddle Ellen stares at on the floor.  
  
“Oh my god,” Phil finally speaks; they’re not the words he wanted to say, but they’re the first ones that come to his already blank mind.  
  
Ellen looks up, eyes wide with shock, and her mouth hanging open just a little, and it all seems to surreal to look at the gross little puddle that sits on his kitchen floor from underneath her dress.  
  
“I think my water’s just broke,” Ellen almost whispers, sounding in as much disbelief as Phil feels and it takes a moment for his body and brain to catch up to each other because he finally manages to move his feet and rush over to where she still stands,   
  
“Oh god. Oh god, okay – I’m gonna, I’ll – call a, I’ll call an ambulance,” he trips over his words as he mindlessly guides poor, shocked Ellen around the kitchen before deciding to take her back into the lounge to sit on the couch.  
  
She follows him and grips his hand as they make their way to the couch and he sits her down carefully. Once she’s comfortable back in her nest of pillows, he makes a dash for the kitchen to pick up his phone off the table, with Dan’s text still open brightly on the screen.   
  
Guilt swoops in his stomach when he sees a silly little text underneath the image, something along the lines of Phil ignoring him, when Phil closes it with shaky hands and instead dials for 999 with a sharp jab of his thumb. As the dial rings out, he only has a matter of moments to prepare for what to say, and he’s connected through to a voice that speaks to him in a calming voice, and Phil has to be brave and confident when explaining the situation to the kind operator, and he almost forgets their address but he babbles it out somehow and the lady assures him an ambulance should be on their way and to make sure they have what the need.  
  
They don’t of course; because somehow Phil remembers that Ellen must have an overnight bag at her own home, and there’s no way they’ll have time to collect it now, and that it probably has the babies clothes in it, along with some documents for Ellen – and then he realises he’s just stood dumbly in the middle of the kitchen whilst Ellen is in literal labour the next room over. Anxious and paranoid and a flurry of a hundred different emotions, he rushes back out, phone gripped tight in his hand to return back to Ellen.  
  
He’s not sure what he’s expecting, perhaps blood, screams and swearing with maybe Ellen half hanging off the couch, but what he’s not expecting is for her to be in fact, stood up and looking out the large floor to ceiling that portrays a pretty skyline of the city far off, as big fat drops of rain roll down one after the last, leaving wet trails behind them.  
  
She doesn’t look like somebody in labour, and he has the very sudden fear that the longer she stands up like this that maybe the baby will fall right out of her, head first onto the wooden floors.  
  
Ellen however must have a sixth sense, as without words she turns to face Phil with a warm smile, looking the exact opposite to how Phil feels; calm.  
  
“Ambulance is on the way,” Phil says dumbly, only because he’s not sure what else to say. Ellen in in labour. A baby is on the way. His baby. Their baby.  
  
“Did you call Dan?” She asks in a gentle voice, and Phil suddenly feels cold wash over him.   
  
“No,” he shakes his head. “I need to call Dan.”  
  
Ellen nods and waddles over to him, wincing a little, smiling nonetheless. “Call Dan. Tell him to meet us at the hospital, okay?” she says slowly, clearly picking up on the fact that Phil may be in a little bit of shock.  
  
Phil nods and holds his phone out in his palm. He stares down at the lockscreen for a moment before remembering he really needs to call Dan, and he unlocks his phone and goes straight to Dan’s name, ignoring the build-up of texts he’s received from him about rain and traffic and hits dial and presses the phone to his ear and listens to the long dull sounds of the tone dial before it clicks and Dan speaks.  
  
“Finally,” Dan huffs over the speaker, “thought you’d gone and forgotten me for something more important than me,” he laughs at his own joke but Phil hasn’t the right amount of brain power to play along and instead he blurts out,  
  
“Ellen’s in labour.”  
  
There’s a beat of silence before,  
  
“What?”  
  
Phil leaves a few long moments drag out to help clear his head, when he speaks again, this time more slower and less manic.  
  
“Ellen’s water’s broke, I called an ambulance, she’s alright though,” he says, quickly giving her a look, to which she nods and gives him a thumbs up. “So you’ll need to meet us there.” He tells him. Somehow just having Dan one phone line again seems to have grounded him just a little more.  
  
Dan is silent for a moment, obviously experiencing the same bouts of shock Phil was going through moments ago, and it makes Phil sad that they weren’t together to see each other’s reactions, but Dan clears his throat and speaks again, voice a little shaky and wobbly.  
  
“Fuck. Okay. Okay, I’ll try at get there as soon as possible,” he says, sounding unsure. “Just, uh, I dunno – I don’t know what to say,” he laughs shakily and Phil can tell he’s feeling anxious.  
  
“It’s alright,” Phil reassures him gently. “It’s gonna be okay, just try at get to the hospital when you can,” Phil says, and he doesn’t want to sound like he’s pleading but he kind of is.  
  
Dan chuckles almost bitterly over the speaker and Phil can’t help feel bad for him. “Yeah, I’ll try. Shit. Fuck. Okay, ring me when you get to the hospital – oh, better yet, let me know when the ambulance gets there – or just, call me if something happens, if anything happens – fuck!”  
  
He’s rambling; spiralling into a swirl of panic that Phil knows how to stop. It’s usually with a reach of his hands on his and a warm embrace and a kiss to his head, but Dan is across the city in a sad little taxi sheltered away from the rain whilst Phil is here with their baby on the way and Phil knows there’s probably a million scenarios going through his other half’s head, and all Phil can do right now is just ease him out of any scary thoughts.  
  
“Dan, you’ll make it, okay? Just sit tight and try not to worry,” Phil tells him.   
  
Dan hums and clears his throat again. “Okay. Is Ellen okay, do you have everything you need?” Dan asks, obviously trying to distract himself for the time being.  
  
Phil looks at where Ellen seems to pace beside the window with her hands on her back, taking slow and steady steps back and forth.  
  
“I think she’s far less frantic as we’re being right now,” Phil laughs and Ellen looks over at him with a grin, just as Dan cracks a laugh over the phone.  
  
“Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening,” Dan whispers and all of a sudden Phil feels giddy.   
  
“I know,” Phil grins ear from ear, and he hopes Dan feels that through the phone.  
  
There’s silence for a while, and Phil watches Ellen carefully with the phone still pressed to his ear when Dan’s voice comes through again,  
  
“When did you call for the ambulance?” Dan asks and before Phil can answer, Dan is speaking again,  
  
“Are you timing the contractions? Is Ellen breathing okay? Phil don’t tell me you’ve gone and left her out of fear, dear god.”  
  
Phil chuckles nervously and he’s not sure why he does because he can see Ellen and by the looks of she doesn’t seem to be in any immediate pain and he trusts her enough to count when he hasn’t been, but he thinks maybe he’s absorbing some of Dan’s nervous energy.  
  
“Dan, everything is okay,” he tells him again with a small laugh. “Just focus on getting to the hospital, okay?”  
  
Dan sighs quietly, still audible, then, “Of course.”  
  
There’s the sound of a horn blaring in the distance of their phone call and Phil is about to open his mouth and say something, something like _I love you_ or _it’ll be okay_ , but Ellen lets out a tiny hiss of pain and she has Phil’s full attention.  
  
“Tiny contraction. We need to count.” She speaks through gritted teeth and Phil nods,  
  
“Okay. Dan look, I have to go,” he rushes out. “I’ll let you know when the ambulance gets here and when we get there, okay?”  
  
“Yeah,” Dan replies, “just let me know if anything happens,” he repeats himself from earlier and Phil glances at Ellen who blows out a puff of air from rounded lips as she continues to slowly pace the room.  
  
“Nothing is going to happen until you’re here,” he tells him in a quiet voice, and he’s sure he can feel the smile Dan probably has on his face right now, dimple showing and all.  
  
“Alright. I love you,” Dan whispers.  
  
“I love you too.”  
  
And with that, the line disconnects and he’s back in the room with Ellen who tilts her head back towards the ceiling and closes her eyes.  
  
“Are they bad?” Phil asks gingerly, he’s unsure of what to do now, once the paramedics arrive he’ll have full trust of Ellen’s and the baby’s wellbeing in their hands, but right now it’s just them in this moment, and Phil feels somewhat responsible.  
  
“Like a pinching, but it’ll get way worse than this,” she laughs breathily and Phil has no idea what she’s finding funny; she sounds in pain now and he can’t imagine what it’ll be like later on.  
  
But he reminds himself that Ellen has done this before, she’s a mother veteran who’s pushed out babies before and done it with no problems, and that’s what keeps Phil afloat still. Ellen can do this.  
  
Just as Phil is about to say something back, offer her a water or a seat again there’s a knock at the door and Phil almost jumps out of his skin.  
  
He doesn’t waste any time in getting to the front door to swing it open. He’s half hoping that somehow by some miracle it’s Dan, but he realises that Dan wouldn’t need to knock to enter his own home, and he feels sad for a split second when the man on the other side of the door isn’t Dan.  
  
But that doesn’t last long when he realises it’s the paramedic, dressed in green holding a little box in his hands, and he looks at Phil, then past him and asks,  
  
“You Phil Lester mate?”   
  
Phil nods, and swallows thickly, and the paramedic nods, “Right, we need to get your misses to the hospital then?” he asks and he goes to move forward, and Phil awkwardly shuffles out the way for him to enter his home and supposedly go look for Ellen.  
  
Phil is still a little shocked still to correct him that Ellen isn’t his wife, and this isn’t their baby; in fact Phil has the least biological connection to this child they’re going to be delivering today, not that it matters, and instead of dwelling on the inside thoughts of his head, he quickly leads the paramedic to the lounge where Ellen still paces and blows out huffs of air.  
  
“Hiya,” the paramedic speaks as he enters the room quickly, causing Ellen to look round at him fast, and it makes Phil think if she even heard the knock at the door or Phil even leave the room.  
  
“My name’s Thomas, I’m a paramedic and I’ve been told your waters have broken, correct?” Thomas seems to work around Phil in a way he wouldn’t have a clue about. He hears Ellen chuckle weakly,  
  
“My son’s called Thomas,” she tells him and Thomas smiles at her,  
  
“Not your first then?” He asks as he snaps on a pair of rubber gloves over his hands, and she shakes her head.  
  
“Nope, just doing this one a favour,” she says as she nods towards where Phil is stood awkwardly on the other side of the room watching them. Thomas turns to face him quickly with a smile and turns his attention back to Ellen.  
  
“Ah right, you a surrogate?” he asks and Ellen nods,   
  
“Yeah,” she smiles happily at Phil, “I am.”  
  
Thomas carries out a few quick things like taking her blood pressure and times a couple of contractions that seem to come in quick now, and Phil isn’t even sure how much time has passed since Ellen’s waters had broken on his kitchen floor, and he thinks he could probably go mop that up actually, but Thomas gathers his things and tells them both that they should make their way outside to the ambulance that’ll take them to the hospital.  
  
They have no bag, no nothing but Thomas doesn’t ask so the three of them (four technically) leave the house, and Phil locks the door behind him as Thomas leads Ellen carefully through the rain towards the open double doors of the big ambulance parked up outside their house, and as he twists the key in the lock, it hits him that the next time he’s possibly back at this house, he’ll be a father. He has no time to stand and think because Thomas calls out to him over the roaring of the heavy rain against the pavement and Phil dashes quickly towards them, hopping into the back and taking a seat.  
  
As they start off, and Thomas is asking Ellen certain questions, Phil suddenly remembers to text Dan. He lets him know that the paramedics arrived and that they’re on their way now, and it shouldn’t be too long until they get there.  
  
He hits send, and frowns down at the screen at the little thread of blue and grey messages on his screen.  
  
Dan should be here. He should be riding in the back of the ambulance with his stupid designer baby bag thrown over his shoulder trying to make small talk just to stop feeling so nervous until Phil would grab his hand and hold it until they had to let go again. But instead, Dan’s alone in the back of a taxi not here having the story of his own child’s birth through a series of texts on a screen. It seems unfair really.  
  
They speed along, and whilst there’s no siren that can be heard, Phil guesses the glide so easily through traffic could be possibly down to blue flashing lights giving them a pass through any obstacle. They aren’t going at lightning speed but they do arrive quicker than Phil had anticipated.  
  
Once they park up in the ambulance bay, it’s only a matter of seconds until the doors fly open and there’s a nurse waiting, hunched over from the rain with a wheelchair gripped in her hands, and both Thomas and Phil help Ellen down the ramp to which she slumps happily in the chair with a long groan.  
  
“Right, good luck mate,” Thomas says, giving Phil a firm slap on the back as he turns and goes back to whatever he has to do, and Phil doesn’t even have time to thank him before he’s trotting off behind Ellen and the nurse that wheels her into the safety of the hospital. 

As they walk briskly through hospital halls Phil manages to send Dan another quick text telling him they’ve arrived and most likely heading to a room straight away.  
  
There’s no reply from both texts and worry and panic is bubbling up in Phil’s chest; from the fact that Ellen is gripping tight now onto the handles of her wheelchair, doubling over with a huff, and the fact that Dan isn’t here and isn’t even texting back now. If his phone is dead, how is he supposed to tell him what room they’re in?  
  
Once again, Phil has no time to really dwell on his anxieties because they reach a room with a bed and the nurse is asking Phil for a hand on lifting Ellen out her chair and into the bed which he happily agrees to.  
  
Ellen sits on the edge and a nurse explains that she’ll grab her a gown and a few forms and some other medical jargon Phil wouldn’t understand; he went to all the classes and read all the stories and articles but nothing seems to stick right now, everything falls out of his head like spaghetti and he can only focus on one thing at a time.  
  
The nurse returns with a gown and Ellen takes it from her quickly, eyes now squeezed shut and without warning she begins to quickly strip as the nurse asks her questions for her form, and Phil quickly spins on his heels to look away, not that he thinks Ellen even cares right now but he does so anyway.  
  
The nurse scribbles down what Ellen manages to mutter out to her and smiles sweetly at her as she carefully lays down on her bed and kicks away her clothes onto the floor.  
  
“I’ll get a midwife to come and have a look at you, see how dilated you are and possibly and hopefully think about some pain relief for you,” the nurse tells her nicely, probably rehearsed in that nice polite voice, but Ellen just nods, clearly just wanting her to go and get on with it.  
  
“Thanks,” she grunts as she tips her head back against the pillow and lets out a long, deep sigh.  
  
Phil stands there as the nurse walks out and leaves them. He isn’t sure what to do or say so he picks up Natalie’s dress off the floor, ignoring that it feels a little damp, from the rain or from her waters breaking, he isn’t sure, but he folds it up neatly and places it on the plastic chair beside the bed.  
  
Ellen cracks open an eye to look at Phil before huffing a sharp laugh. “You doing okay?” she asks and Phil nods, wrapping his arms around himself as the rain continues to pour outside.  
  
“Heard anything from Dan?” she asks, voice sounding a little pained and Phil shakes his head.  
  
Ellen frowns at him before he expression softens a little. “He’ll be here,” she whispers.  
  
Phil wishes he could believe her.  
  
Eventually a midwife knocks on the door and introduces herself as Eden with a warm happy smile and kindly asks Ellen to prop her legs up for her to take a look. She snaps on a familiar pair of rubber gloves and Ellen takes a deep breath as Eden peers in between her legs and has a look.  
  
Phil isn’t sure if he can look, so he stands at the chair beside Ellen and smiles at her even though she has her eyes closed again.  
  
Eden eventually pops back up and Ellen lets her legs flop back onto the bed to look down at where the midwife peels her gloves off.  
  
“Good news, you’re definitely in the active labour phase, just a little over three centimetres dilated,” she grins at them both and Ellen smiles weakly.   
  
“Thank god for that,” she laughs breathlessly and Phil does the same, reaching out for her shoulder and giving it a squeeze.  
  
Eden laughs warmly and it makes Phil trust her, that she must generally enjoy her job. She then claps her hands together enthusiastically,  
  
“Right,” she begins, “let’s talk pain relief.”  
  
*  
  
Once Ellen has the drugs, she seems to calm a little. Her brow isn’t constantly creased and her teeth aren’t gritted together. Instead her eyes are gently closed shut and she’s rubbing slow, steady circles on her belly with a small, sleepy smile as Phil watches from his little plastic chair.  
  
His phone feels heavy in his hands, which doesn’t compare to the rock in his chest he feels every time he glances down and checks his screen for no new texts.  
  
He’d let Dan know their room number, and text him that Ellen was three centimetres dilated and she’d had the epidural, and that he was worried about him.  
  
He’d even snuck out whilst Ellen was resting to call him, but the ringer had gone straight to voice mail, sending Phil’s stomach to the bottom of his feet. He’d have no idea where Dan would be if his phone was dead, and that scared Phil greatly.  
  
So now he waited, alone in this sweet little hospital room as Ellen fell into a half sleep, leaving Phil to his own thoughts when all he really wanted was to talk to Dan. He wanted to get excited with him, cry with him, laugh and get anxious together only for each other to comfort the other.  
  
He missed Dan and could only hope he managed to get here.  
  
When Ellen stirs and hold her head up to look around the room, her face matches Phil’s eternal disappointment.  
  
“Not here yet?” she says with a frown and Phil shakes his head.   
  
“Not yet,” he tells her. “Do you need anything? How’re you feeling?”  
  
Ellen rests her head back against the pillow and hums, “Better now.”   
  
“Good,” Phil tells her, because that is good. He shouldn’t be sulking; Ellen got here safe, she’s feeling good, everything is going well, all that’s missing is Dan, and he should have to learn to be okay about that.  
  
“He’ll get here, Phil,” Ellen reads his mind, voice sleepy. Phil snorts a laugh at her way to read him so easily.  
  
“I hope so, this is kinda terrible by yourself,” he whispers, looking away from her and down at his feet.  
  
Ellen returns his laugh and shakes her head, “You’re not gonna be by yourself. This is the both of you,” she tells him and Phil looks back up at here where she has her head tipped back looking wide eyed at the ceiling.  
  
“Yeah,” Phil agrees with her because she’s right. “It is.”  
  
Ellen pulls her glance away from the ceiling back to Phil with a sparkle in her eyes and a soft, warm smile.   
  
“You’re gonna be okay. You can do this, Phil.”  
  
Phil nods and reaches over to give her hand a squeeze.   
  
*  
  
Eden comes back after a while, and Phil isn’t even sure of the time anymore, everything passing in a blur, but he’s sure that it’s getting late now with the sun dipping behind the horizon of what he can see from out their window and he watches carefully this time as Eden takes another look at Ellen with a new pair of gloves this time.  
  
“Right, you seem to be about six centimetres, you’re moving along pretty fast which is what we like,” Eden tells them once she stands back up. “So you have four centimetres to go,” she announces happily and Ellen grins.  
  
“Good,” she smiles looking at Phil and then back at Eden.  
  
“The epidural working alright I take it?” Eden asks as she scribbles something down on a chart and Ellen hums happily.  
  
“Brilliant. It’s like I can feel it inside me, but it doesn’t hurt. Like it’s muted,” she says and Eden nods as she continues writing whatever it is she writes on her little board.  
  
“That’s good. Hopefully this’ll be a quick birth by the looks of it. Was your first this quick?” Eden asks setting down her papers and Ellen shakes his head,  
  
“No, Thomas was an all-night baby,” she tells her and Eden gives a little laugh.  
  
“Well, that wouldn’t be ideal, but my guesses are you’ll be fully dilated pretty soon, and once that happens, I think by the looks of things you’ll have yourself a baby soon after,” Eden smiles wide and so does Ellen, and despite everything Phil finds himself smiling too.  
  
_Soon_. He’s about to have a baby soon, and it hits him all at once like a full force steam train that he wobbles a little where he’s stood and he grips a weak fist into Ellen’s bedsheets to steady himself.  
  
“Oh my god,” he murmurs. “Oh my god.”  
  
Eden laughs and shakes her head. “You alright there?” she asks kindly and Phil swallows the thick lump that’s formed in his throat and manages to give her a weak nod.  
  
“This your first?” Eden asks and when Phil can’t find words to escape his mouth, Ellen speaks for him.  
  
“Yep,” she laughs. “I think he may have just realised what’s happening,” Ellen says looking up at Phil with a soft smile that Phil can’t seem to concentrate on.  
  
“Ah,” Eden exclaims gently, “your brain finally catching up to you?” she jokes and Phil finds a way to nod at her.  
  
Eden and Ellen laugh and soon enough Eden leaves again, explaining she’ll be back again soon to check in on them and Phil lets himself collapse into his chair with a gust of air escaping his lungs.  
  
“Don’t go freaking out on me now, Phil,” Ellen tells him after a few moments of silence, but Phil still doesn’t know what to say or do, and instead hangs his head in his hands, which must get his tongue working because he’s finally able to spit something out.  
  
“I’m gonna be a dad soon,” he speaks with a crack of his voice. “I’m actually going to be a dad like, really soon.”  
  
He looks up quickly at Ellen in her bed who looks at him softly and nods, “Uh huh.”  
  
“After this I’m gonna have a baby to look after for the rest of my life,” he continues and Ellen simply nods.  
  
“You’re not thinking of backing out now, are you?” she jokes with a light laugh and Phil blinks at her, before he feels a prick behind his eyes and his lip wobbles as he smiles at her.  
  
“Of course not,” his voice cracks again and he can’t help the ear to ear grin that appears on his face that seems to be contagious because Ellen soon mirrors it.  
  
“I’m gonna be a dad soon,” he repeats himself, but this time he scoots forward on his chair in excitement and grabs at Ellen’s hand to give it a hard squeeze. “This is really happening.”  
  
Ellen laughs, and blinks as a few tears escape her eyes and roll gently down her face, not bothering to wipe them away.   
  
“It really is.”  
  
Phil laughs wetly and so does Ellen. They don’t care that they’re sat here together crying and laughing like idiots, to Phil it doesn’t matter, he couldn’t care less about anything else, not with the idea now in his head that he’s going to meet his baby so soon. It feels unreal like a dream.  
  
And still in the back of his head, he still has that bubble of anxiety that reminds him that Dan isn’t here yet, but he can’t help the run of emotions inside of him and he doesn’t think he’s allowed himself to actually get excited yet since this whole ordeal today, and for once he’ll allow it.  
  
And when Eden returns, she has the good news that Ellen has in fact moved along and is now eight centimetres. Only two to go and they can begin getting the baby out. Every word from Eden’s mouth causes a flutter of butterflies in Phil’s chest; a mixture of emotion of both excitement for what’s to come, and anxiety that it’s been hours since he last spoke to Dan about anything.  
  
He hasn’t even had time to consider something had happened to him. What if there was an accident? What if something happened and Dan’s lost? What if Dan’s in the hospital right now and he just can find them? Should Phil go stand romantically in the rain and wait for him to arrive so they can run into each other’s arms and cry as they reunite and make it back in time for the birth of their child?  
  
All of Phil’s thoughts and ideas are interrupted when a machine beeps and the door swings open and Eden and some other nurses Phil just about recognises bustle in and around Ellen, pushing him out of the little circle they have around her. Phil just about is able to see them dip in between Ellen’s leg again, muttering to each other when Eden looks up at Ellen with a firm face,  
  
“Alright love, looks like you’re going to have to start pushing soon, can you do that?” she asks and Ellen nods, looking a little pale.  
  
One of the nurses looks round to see Phil awkwardly stood off to the side and nods for him to come over and stand beside Ellen.  
  
“You get up here, and hold her hand, she’ll need to something to squeeze,” the nurse tells him and Phil nods dumbly as he walks over to Ellen to offer her his hand, which she takes and already begins to squeeze.  
  
“I can feel it now,” Ellen breathes, squeezing her eyes shut and gritting her teeth again.  
  
The other nurses start doing something in the corner, setting up a little blanketed table and a towel whilst Eden stays at the other end of Ellen.  
  
“Okay darling,” she tells her in a loud voice. “I want you to push but when I say stop, you stop, okay?”  
  
Ellen doesn’t reply but instead nods frantically and once Eden gives her to go ahead, Ellen begins to push; her chin to her chest just like practiced and face scrunched up in a mixture of pain and concentration.  
  
She near crushes Phil’s hand in hers.  
  
“Okay love,” Eden looks up at her again, “slow down now. Breathe, we don’t want you tearing so let’s just take it easy,” she speaks in a calm but stern voice and Phil feels anything but calm.  
  
His hand feels sweaty and Ellen is panting and puffing and her hair is beginning to stick to her face where she’s beginning to sweat already.  
  
“Okay, now push,” Eden speaks and Ellen does so. She lets out a grunt and hunches her shoulders and Phil’s sure the bones in his hands are broken but he doesn’t complain, his heart is pounding in his chest every time Eden instructs her to stop and start again, informing them that they baby is nearing now.  
  
Phil feels the hot wetness in his eyes again and he uses his spare hand to wipe away unfallen tears. This is really happening.  
  
“Okay, push dear, I reckon we have a few more to go, okay?” Eden yells and Ellen nods, determined, and pushes, hard this time with a near scream.  
  
It startles Phil, but it reminds him that Ellen needs him right now. “You’re doing great,” Phil tells her quickly, rubbing her shoulder. “You’re doing really, really great. Just breathe.”  
  
Ellen opens her eyes to look at him and laughs, “Thanks,” she says sarcastically but she still manages a small smile.  
  
Phil rubs her shoulder again when Eden tells her to push again, this time a little harder.  
  
“The head’s about to come out,” Eden tells them and Phil can’t believe what he’s hearing.  
  
The head. The head of their baby. He desperately wants to drop Ellen’s hand and go look but she has such a death drip on him he doesn’t think she’ll let him.  
  
He so wishes Dan was here, he would be stood beside Eden babbling on endless words that would be meaningless to her as he probably ugly cried. It’s killing him that Dan’s missing this right now, probably killing Dan too, but Ellen lets out a strangled cry and Eden tells her to slow down.  
  
“One big push now love, and you’ll have the head and shoulders, okay?” Eden instructs and Ellen lets out a long huff of air and nods.  
  
“On the count of three? Alright?” Eden speaks and Phil nods, wishing he could just tell Ellen to hold it in, wait five more minuets so can share this with Dan, but there’s no holding back now so he grips on tight and sucks in a deep breath. He can do this. He holds Ellen’s hand and runs a hand up her arm.  
  
“Okay, one, two –“  
  
Before Eden can get her next word out the door slams wide open against the wall and Phil jumps in surprise spinning as much as he can to look at who stands in the doorway.

There, panting heavily with a heavy rise and fall of his chest, soaked through from head to toe with a head of curls that drip wetly to the floor in a puddle, stands a wide eyed Dan staring at the scene ahead of him.  
  
He catches eyes with Phil for a split second, and Phil can already tell how emotional Dan must be from the glimmer in his eyes.  
  
“I didn’t miss it?” he speaks, almost breathlessly in disbelief and Phil shakes his head quickly.  
  
“No. Get down there, the head’s about to come out,” Phil tells him with a shaky, choked voice, and he can’t keep the smile from his face at just there mere sight of Dan here in this room right now.  
  
Dan’s eyes go wide and he’s quickly being ushered over by Eden to hurry up, which he does so.  
  
Phil watches Dan stand at the other end and his mouth falls open when he takes a look, eyes brimming with big tears, bottom lip wobbling out as he snaps his head towards Phil.  
  
“Phil, oh my god, Phil, the head, I can see her head!”  
  
Phil laughs wetly and Eden begins the countdown again, but just then Ellen lets go of his hand and pushes at his arm weakly.  
  
“Go. Go,” she tells him, and Phil blinks at her and smiles warmly at her before quickly joining Dan, bumping shoulder with him as he rushes over.  
  
Just as he’s able to look where he’s just about to make out a head, Eden barks out the countdown again and Ellen is pushing again. Dan grabs at Phil’s arm and squeezes and doesn’t let go. He doesn’t let go when Ellen lets out a long, strained cry and Eden is encouraging for her not to stop and Dan doesn’t let go when the head seems to appear out of nowhere, and then there’s shoulders and a body and eventually –

 _A tiny human._  
  
She’s purple and alien looking and all bloody, but she brings her little legs and arms to her chest, gasps her mouth open and once she kicks out she lets out a long wail and he hears the sigh of relief come from Ellen.  
  
Then he hears the chocked sob of Dan beside him, and he wastes no time spinning Dan towards him for a tight, well needed hug.  
  
“Oh my god,” Dan sobs into his chest, getting him all wet, due to the fact that he’s soaked all over.  
  
They pull away to take another look at where Eden snips off the umbilical cord and she’s being quickly handed over to the nurses who fuss over getting her cleaned up.  
  
Eden grins around the room.  
  
“Congratulations. It’s a girl.”  
  
Ellen lets out a happy little cry and Dan breaks down again and Phil takes him in his arms and holds him, crying and laughing and something in between until the nurse crosses the room towards them with a clean little bundle of pink in their arms.  
  
Dan gasps softly.  
  
“Who wants first hold?” the nurse asks softly.  
  
“You first,” Dan whispers and Phil sniffs and nods as the nurse delicately places their daughter in his arms.  
  
She weighs nothing in his hold, but his heart feels so full like a water balloon about to burst from inside of him with a warm beautiful happiness.  
  
He lets out another little cry and he feels Dan press a kiss against his forehead, as the peer down at the small little baby in his arms that sleeps soundly. This is exactly everything that he wanted.  
  
Ellen gets cleaned up and they both give a round of thank you’s through tears and gentle hugs and more tears, until she lets herself rest, dozing off as Dan and Phil stand in the same spot, absolutely smitten already.  
  
“I can’t believe I almost missed that,” Dan whispers after a while and Phil huffs a laugh.  
  
“How the hell did you get here? You’re all wet,” he speaks softly, afraid he’ll wake the baby and Dan smiles softly at him.  
  
“I ran.”  
  
Phil’s eyes widen, “You ran?”  
  
Dan nods, before looking back at the bundle in Phil’s arms and grinning so wide Phil thinks he’ll get stuck like that. Not like he’s complaining.  
  
“Was worth it,” Dan whispers, looking up to meet Phil’s gaze.  
  
“Yeah,” Phil whispers back, holding their baby daughter close to his chest, too afraid to ever let go.

“It was.”

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


End file.
